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Every person handles rejection differently. However, rejection always ends up in the same category of stinky crap that kicks us right square in the jaw, and knocks out our perfect custom $2500 gold teeth right square into roundworm infested dirt.

Rejection is like being run over by a bus full of people who will sneer and laugh at us in passing through, despite our bodies laying flat and limp and left to be scraped up with a snow shovel coated with disinfectant and lye, as though we are out there in a deadly dangerous world unto ourselves.

No beans about it, rejection sucks on a scale unmeasured.

When we’re rejected, we’re basically being thrown out with yesterday’s dated and generic pleather wingtip shoes that would soon function better in a landfill, than to hang around and continue being smelly, tacky and sore on the eyes.

We are given the boot, to make room for a newer shinier set of imported fine Italian leather kicks that are a few notches up from the used wrinkly holed up variety that we assume we must be, otherwise we’d still be there. And the new set will be the envy of all kicks. Especially to us, the pathetically “kicked to the curb”.

When we’re rejected, we’re basically being told we’re not good enough, we’re not salvageable, and that we are no longer needed, and we are left to come to terms with the fact that we will eventually be replaced. When people cut us off and cut us out of their lives, we feel like the ultimate loser and our failing insufficient egos easily bleed to death in less than 5 minutes from the massive gun shot wound straight to our hearts. Because let’s face it….

Rejection is a derivative of the word “reject” and is a shitty disposition to be in from anywhere we’re standing.

In order to live down rejection, some of us resort to all out spite, revenge, lunacy and nonsensicality, in the use of name calling/insults. Like writing nasty messages on public bathroom walls, having 26 pizzas delivered to the rejector’s house, and indulging in heroically erotic dreams of silencing them in telling them to go eff themselves in the middle of a room full of prominent and aristocratic people.

Though, some handle it better than others, we all handle it in typically the same fashion.

The Five Stages of Rejection

Denial

We don’t want to believe that we are being cast away into the shadows of yesterday right in the middle of what we deem is our dream come true. We want to hang on for as long as we can because what we have is everything that is whole and makes us real. We don’t want to have to believe that we are being thrown out in favor of a newer situation because the old one makes the most sense and fits us and our lives, hand in glove.

For a while, we pretend the person is coming home to us and we cook a fancy dinner, pick up fresh cut flowers and make phone call after phone call that results in our discovering that our number has been blocked. Yet, we redial one after the other and we still can’t get through, while the door never opens, the fancy dinner gets cold, and we sit at the dining room table all alone watching the flowers wilt.

We don’t believe it yet because the magnitude of the situation is too big to swallow and too hairy to digest.

Willingness to Fix the Problem/Groveling

When denial finally sets in, we realize what’s happening and we usually start out in panic mode. Then we run through every detail leading up to the situation of the sucky split and pick it apart as though it were an empty present, inside an empty present, inside an empty present, inside……

Then we kick ourselves into action and we resort to begging, bargaining, and being belittled, in the hopes that we will circumvent the situation back in our favor. We’ll stop looking like hell first thing in the morning, start eating crow when you tell us to and we’ll fix our smelly rear ends with that freshener you recommended. WHATEVER IT TAKES, JUST PLEASE DON’T GO.

Anger, Egotistical Shame and Acting Like An Ass

In the finality of realizing the dude’s never coming back, WE GET ANGRY. We trash the house, take a baseball bat to the shrine we built in the den and leave nasty voicemail upon nasty voicemail at midnight on his business phone telling him we’re going to get him back and that he’ll be sorry for what he did.

We get angry because we feel beyond betrayed, and we need to vent our anger in the form of vengeful childish crap-slinging that little kids engage in when their mommies tell them they can’t have a popcicle in lieu of a nutritious dinner. We act like foot stomping butt hurt babies who demand to be validated by whatever means necessary.

Coming to Terms With Said Rejection, Forgiveness and Moving On

When we realize we’re never going to get the validation we seek, the satisfaction we need, and to live out the fantasy of shaming the other person into retreating back into our lives, we finally know it’s over. We ate our shit sandwich bit by bit and swallowed every last abhorrent crumb and we are ready to get back out in the world and face the music.

The amount of time involved in coming to terms with rejection is different for everybody, but the end result is just the same. WE ALL COME TO GRIPS WITH IT EVENTUALLY and we move on. Whether we decide to forgive is a whole other matter, and it’s one that we have to decide for ourselves. Though it’s better to forgive because it allows us to heal completely.

Either way, we arrive at relief, revival and renewal. We are ready to get back in the race.

Becoming Bigger Better People

Despite living through the pain of rejection and having to deal with being someone’s castaway, there is an intended purpose and a big lesson we can take from being rejected. Indeed, we become different people coming out the other side and we’re more often than not, much better off than we were before.

We are humbled and enlightened when we push out a few strands of hair on our chests in being rejected. We get to know what pain, humiliation, and disdain feels like so we can be at a level that allows us to feel empathy towards others with renewed confidence. Rejection is more than just a slap in the face because it’s more like a 20-foot high kick up our rear ends in which the fall of re-landing on our own two feet is one that makes us stronger, more in touch with reality, and a lot less full of ourselves.

Rejection is important and necessary for us all and it is something we all face, whether it’s not landing the job we want, not gaining membership to some awesome club, or not landing the dude we hoped we could get wrapped. WE NEED TO KNOW THAT THE WHOLE WORLD IS NOT DESIGNED TO CONFORM TO OUR SPECIFICATIONS and that we are products of humanity. The only way to know that is to know that we are not spoiled bitches who can snap our fingers and magically make people do what we want them to do. We are just like everybody else and we should know it and above all, ADMIT IT.

Rejection is designed to make us see that we are all smaller than we want to believe, but bigger than what the other person makes us. The closed door of rejection opens the door to much-needed reflection.